Ah, wedding planning. A time of love, excitement, and... unwanted opinions from every direction.
From Auntie Susan who thinks your dress must have sleeves; your best mate who insists a wedding isn’t a wedding without a three tiered cake, to that colleague who got married in Santorini and now thinks everyone should get married abroad – I get it. The opinions are endless, often (usually) well-meaning, but sometimes, just a bit too much.
So, how do you handle all these thoughtful suggestions without losing your cool? I’ve got you covered with some tried-and-tested tactics to deflect, handle, and, if needed, completely shut down those unwanted wedding opinions – all while keeping the peace. Let's look at some ways to make those unwanted wedding opinions disappear shall we?
1. The Gracious Deflection – "Oh, that’s an interesting idea! We’ll think about it."
Perfect for when you want to acknowledge the comment but have zero intention of actually doing anything with it. Smile, nod, and move on.
Example:
Opinion: “You should really have a receiving line so you can greet every guest properly.”
Response: “Oh, that’s an interesting idea! Thank you... We’ll think about it.”
(Translation: Absolutely not friend, but thanks for your input!)
2. The Vague Agreement – "We’re focusing on making the day feel like ‘us.’"
This one works wonders because it’s true! Your wedding should feel like you, and this subtle response makes it clear that you’re sticking to your vision. End of!
Example:
Opinion: “You have to have a church wedding – it’s tradition!”
Response: “Yes, it used to be, but we’re focusing on making the day feel like ‘us.’”
(A nice way of saying, ‘I hear you - Thanks but no thanks!’)
3. The Expert Blame-Shift – "Our planner says it’s not the best idea."
When all else fails, blame your planner! Seriously, I don’t mind.
Example:
Opinion: “Why don’t you just ask your cousin to be the photographer? They have a nice camera.”
Response: “Our planner says it’s really important to have a professional so we’re taking their advice!”
(Sorry, Cousin Dave – our wedding memories are not for amateurs!)
4. The Straight-Up Shut Down – "We’ve already decided, but thanks!"
If you’re done being polite and just need to make it stop, this one does the job while keeping things respectful.
Example:
Opinion:
“You should really invite your mum’s hairdresser’s daughter’s dog walker – she’d love to come!”
Response: “We’ve already decided on our guest list/maxed out our guest list, but thank you!”
(End of discussion.)
5. The Perspective Flip – "Would you have changed your wedding to please someone else?"
This is a good one for the more persistent advice-givers who just won’t drop it.
Example:
Opinion: “You have to do a bouquet toss – it’s tradition!”
Response: “That’s a fun tradition but it doesn't feel like me/us! Did you change anything about your wedding to fit someone else’s wishes?”
(Watch them realise that no, they wouldn’t!)
6. The Distraction Tactic – "Ooh, tell me more about your wedding!"
Redirecting the conversation is sometimes the easiest way out. Let them talk about their own day instead of critiquing yours.
Example:
Opinion: “You should really go for a classic black-tie theme – it’s so elegant.”
Response: “Ooh -That’s a lovely idea! What did you do for your wedding?”
(Boom. Now they’re talking about themselves, and you’re off the hook.)
At the End of the Day… It’s Your Wedding
We all know that (most of the time) these opinions are coming from a good place. People love weddings, and sometimes they just get a little carried away. But the truth is, this is your day, and your happiness is what matters most.
So, take the advice that serves you, let the rest float away, and remember: If all else fails, your planner has your back! 😉
Need help dealing with wedding stress (or just someone to be the ‘bad guy’ when needed)? That’s what I'm here for!
Let’s make your wedding day exactly what you want – no unwanted opinions included. 💛
Photo Credit: Mark Fraser Photography
Venue: Chicheley Hall
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